Here is a quick quiz. Person A does a favor for you. Person B asks you to do a favor for him. Who are you liable to like more? The answer: Person B.
It seems counterintuitive. Wouldn't we favor those who do us favors? Not necessarily. Often, the opposite is true: We don't like people who are nice to us. We like people to whom we are nice. This quirk of human nature, known as the Ben Franklin Effect, explains a lot about how relationships work, and how we might improve them.
Benjamin Franklin stumbled across the phenomenon in 1736 when serving as clerk to the Pennsylvania Assembly. A powerful new member of the assembly, "a gentleman of fortune, and education," didn't care for Franklin and threatened to make life miserable for him. What to do? Franklin could have kowtowed to this member and attempted to win him over with flattery. But he took a different approach.
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