03/05/2025

Stop Being 'Too Nice'

People-pleasing can undermine your effectiveness

You regularly work late to handle last-minute requests. You hesitate to voice contrary opinions in meetings. You feel guilty when you set boundaries. Your calendar fills with meetings where your presence adds little value. You frequently take on tasks that should be delegated, or you find yourself softening feedback to avoid potential conflict.

The instinct to be perpetually helpful and accommodating can feel like a safe choice in professional settings: It shows flexibility, dedication and an openness to teamwork. Yet saying "yes" to every request, avoiding necessary conflict, taking on tasks better handled by others, consistently prioritizing others’ needs over your own development, and other similar patterns not only limit your effectiveness and growth but also undermine your well-being. 

While these behaviors might earn immediate appreciation, they can lead to scattered focus and diminish your impact. These patterns often emerge early in our careers when proving our worth seems tied to constant availability and agreeability. They become deeply ingrained as we advance, even as our roles demand more strategic thinking and decisive action. As a leader, the desire to seek approval and avoid conflict can undermine your ability to make decisive choices, think creatively and stay true to your vision. Over time, it can erode your effectiveness and leave you feeling stuck in a reactive, approval-seeking loop. On a personal level, constant accommodation, especially when it goes against your values and priorities, can cause persistent stress, frustration and eventually even burnout.

Please select this link to read the complete article from Big Think.