When professionals tell me they want to be “more confident,” I usually give an answer that catches them off guard. “I have no interest in helping you feel confident,” I say. “None whatsoever.”
That tends to get their attention. Especially because—as a coach to CEOs, presidential candidates and professionals across industries—I’ve seen what actually builds confidence, and it’s not waiting around for the right feeling to arrive. Instead, confidence is a behavior. It’s something you can do.
If you've ever walked out of a meeting thinking, "I knew what I wanted to say—I just didn't say it right," this shift might be the key to your growth. You don't need to feel confident to sound confident. And if you learn how to do the latter, the former often follows.
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