Most of us will work for a really bad boss at some point in our lives, perhaps more than one. Research by the Harris Poll bears this out, showing that more than 70 percent of workers have had at least one such noxious manager in their career. These difficult managers can range from inexperienced and incompetent bosses to truly mean-spirited individuals who have little regard for human suffering. Researchers have found that when we experience incivility in the workplace, about half of people intentionally decreased their work effort, more than three-quarters said it decreased their commitment to the organization involved; more than 10 percent said they had left a job because of poor treatment/behavior.
What’s interesting is that many people think “It’s all their [the bosses’] fault” when, in fact, we often play a role in the difficult relationship. When we have a less-than-ideal boss, it’s also helpful to look in the mirror, for there may be some things we are doing that contribute to the situation. In addition, it's easy to mistake incompetence for ill intent toward us. Keeping this in mind may give us a bit more empathy for a previous bad boss because we learn our own leadership skills by leading others, just as that previous bad boss had to learn to lead by leading us.
Really bad bosses can be soul-crushing and draining to work with. It helps us realize that when a boss, or any other person, treats us badly, their behavior may have very little to do with us and more to do with what is going on in their own world. Although we cannot control how others think or behave, we do have control over ourselves and our behavior.
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